Wednesday, June 14, 2017

On Marriage

Today one sentence in a book “Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry” I’m reading now inspires me to think a lot about marriage.

“She felt she had become both one-dimensional and more fragile.” wholesale jerseys, That’s what came across Maureen’s mind when she met his husband Harold on his pilgrimage and surprised by how much he’d changed. Once Harold and Maureen had both lived in regrets and agonies after their only son committed suicide. However, with Harold's walk going, he had changed. Gradually he’d learned to let go and finally went out of the past. He’d grown to be a better person, more confident, more determined, and more open-minded. Meanwhile Maureen still stayed where she was. Perhaps it’s lucky that Harold was already 65 years old or to be frankly, I’m not sure where this relationship would end up with.

As children, we were fed up with enough fairy stories with “happily-forever-together “endings. But life is not a fairy tale. In real life, it takes tons of efforts from both parties and a bit lucky to have a happily-forever-together ending. For couples, it perhaps is a lifelong learning project.

Believe or not, love dies, perhaps love dies more quickly than you could imagine. To reignite the fire, the first rule is never to lose yourself and always keep going forward with your partner. I’ve heard many stories about those divorced wives. After spending their entire life taking care of their husbands and kids, they had to face with a cruel reality: being abandoned, and meanwhile unable to fit into the society. Ironically, after all their sacrifices, cheap mlb hatstheir husbands have tons of ground reasons for divorce: She’s not the one I once loved. We have nothing in common now. She doesn’t understand a thing about my life and career. Except the mundanity of the life, she knows nothing. I don’t even know how to make a proper talk with her!” In a word, these wives have all become one-dimensional.

It’s unfair, even ugly but it’s the reality. As women, we are more likely to be weighed down by the mundanity of the life and the huge commitment of taking care of our kids.  But none of these should become the excuse of not going forward. Marriage is not a competition, but a gap is a gap, no matter how it has appeared, it is still a danger for a relationship.  Of course, maintaining a marriage should not be the only reason to better ourselves. It’s just something we should never give up trying.

It’s not easy. I am a working mother with a 9-year-old son and a husband who is a housechore virgin and who has a busy job. Every day I live like fighting a war, fighting to find the balance between my job, my family and myself. Still, Each day I manage some time for learning. I got to know many mums like me online through Learning English.  When they are speaking English, I could often hear baby’s crying, giggling in the background. One of them has to get up at 5 o'clock every morning so that she could spare sometime for English. How do we get the time for learning? ---use time on the way to work, get up early, cheap nfl jerseyslistening to English while doing house chores and taking care of kids----you can always find way only if you try hard enough.

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